I Have Something To Confess...

No, I'm not a jealous girlfriend (sadly only a joke that is a joke if you are a hardcore Marina and the Diamonds fan like myself)
I am addicted to nail polish and nail art.
I own over 80 nail varnishes, Barry M, 17, OPI, Jessica, Models Own, No7, Accessorize, generic nail art pens,  you name it, I've used it.
I used to be a one colour a week kind of girl. I graduated to doing one one colour on one hand plus two nails on the other with three on the other a different colour to the other 7 (sounds more confusing than it is).
My mind was then blown by Barry M Crackle Effect varnish

                                            Barry M in Turquoise and Barry M special effects in Cool Pink
Now, from here I bought this effect in every colour, black, white, blue, I even treated myself to the amazing Silver one in the Pirate of The Caribbean collection by OPI (which I found to be a little disappointing if I'm honest). I also invested in the purple crackle by Models Own which is actually my favourite of my crackles.

From here I got bored with my nails, I thought it couldn't get better than the crackle top coat so I had a brief love affair with Nail Foils

         I got these from Boots, I don't know what brand they are but I do know they aren't Nail Rock

When I say brief love affair, I really do mean it. I tried these, I tried shiny silver ones, I tried realistic leopard Nail Rock foils and not one of the bastards was easier or more hard wearing. Biggest waste of money in my entire life, apart from you know.. that one time where I bought a concealer that was empty.

So, there I was in the nail care wasteland when suddenly, my mind was reinvigorated by my very good friend Louise of Because Wearing Black Looks Mysterious who was a pro a doing leopard print nails due to her recent purchase of the WAH! nails for Models Own nail art pen, so I decided to give it a go myself, resulting in this;

All Varnishes shown are Barry M, bright green, cobalt, block orange and lilac with WAH! nails for Models Own nail art pen in Black.

This was my first attempt and it is very safe to say that I am much better at it now and here is the proof:

Models Own in Gold Rush, Barry M in Block Orange and of course, WAH! nails for Models Own nail art pen in Black

From here I went to youtube nail art tutorials and started experimenting on my own resulting in all of this:

I am quite pleased with the outcomes above, if you are interested in any of the colours used in the above photos feel free to message me about them and I will tell you where they are from.

However, this is where it gets really good. Today I bought Magnetic Nail Polish by 17 and I must say I am in love.

The effect is created by holding a magnet in the lid of the brush over the wet nail varnish and BANG magic happens.

My love for nail varnish shall never end and even though my nails are absolutely stained, ruined and flakey, I will always have my polish to make them look awesome

A Fat Chick's For Life, Not Just For Christmas

As you may be aware, Christmas Day is fast approaching and with it comes the dilemmas of  fashion ideas and portion control.
Now, as a well seasoned fat chick I can tell you that there is nothing more wonderful than the crap that gets shoved in your face at Christmas time. Mostly because "you're a big girl, go on, finish it up for me."
Not only is this fucking annoying, but it is rude as. Just because I am not a size 8 does not mean I am a garbage disposal unit attending your tedious Christmas party to eat the boring selection of treats you provide.
Finding things to wear over the festive season I understand, if one is larger than popular fashion outlets decide, can be a stressful affair. It is also something I try to avoid doing at all costs as I seem to throw money at outfits that only get worn for 5 hours then shoved to the back of the wardrobe. Therefore, I have some handy tips to avoid this situation:

1. If it ain't comfy, it ain't gonna work. If you are wearing something that you think is amazing and looks good initially BUT you find yourself pulling it down to cover your bodacious arse or it cuts your arms up or it's scratchy, loose it and move on. If you aren't comfortable, you won't look comfortable.
2. Decide on a budget and stick to it, it may only be a tenner more than you had planned but that tenner will make all the difference after Christmas when you're skint because you're on a 5 week pay month.
3. Tits or legs, keep it classy, it's Christmas NOT Halloween, sweets are not being given out for free
4. Save money, accessorise yourself silly. There is nothing wrong with wearing one of your wardrobe staples and cracking out some of your glitteriest jewels or most weird head scarf. Also, do not feel pressure to conform to this seasons trends, the world of fashion is cruel but not as cruel as the bank when you've run out of money because you just had to have that 'it dress' from Topshop.
5. If you're happy with what you are wearing, no other fuckers opinion need matter to you, which is something I have only just come to realise but it is true, it's not like you're forcing them to wear what you are so fuck it.

Another Christmas obstacle is family time, I have recently come home from university where I spent 3 months living my own life and doing what I wanted whenever I wanted so coming home to a place where nothing was my own and my life wasn't what I had made it was literally the most depressing thing to happen, ever.
Within 15 hours the jibes had started; "How much pudding would you like Isabel?" "oh just that small bit there" "Sorry, did you say half of it? hahahaha you know I'm joking!"
FUCK. OFF.
I do not appreciate your comments on my size, which by the way isn't even that big in the grand scheme of things, nor do I appreciate your assumptions on my appetite. You, my family who are just as lardy arsed as me. If, by any chance you find yourself with a family what are just as prickish as mine I suggest you invest in a sense of humour, an amazing poker face, a death stare or the ability to come up with a witty come back. I usually go for the death stare, inherited from my late grandmother, mixed with the poker face. Works every time but does tend to get responses of "Oh cheer up I was only joking, Christ your miserable."
Well I'm sorry, I don't feel like being smiley for you today, maybe I'll go and eat some more cake.